For every pithy proverb in use, there is in another corner of the world (or sometimes in the very same corner) an equally pithy one which states just the opposite. Which puts one in a bit of spin. Which one of these paired proverbs is true? And which is not? Let’s try and decode the truth.
Near or far away?
Every great lover— in myth, movies, fantasies and fairy tales, has sworn that ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ He has wasted away in foreign lands in the throes of separation, while his beloved has pined equally at home. Ask the yaksha of Kalidasa’s Meghaduta, Heer-Ranjha, or Romeo and Juliet! Our hearts beat in shared sorrow. But do spare a thought for the parents of unsuitable lovers, too. You can hardly blame them for putting their faith in ‘Out of sight is out of mind’. Or the pithier ‘Long absent, soon forgotten‘. Will true love triumph? Or will the parents heave a sigh of relief? The scales are evenly balanced between the paired proverbs.
‘Hard words break no bones’. True. Bones are made of sterner stuff. The more verbose ‘Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ says much the same thing. Why endure the pain of broken bones, indeed? Simply turn a deaf ear to the critics. An ancient blessed with keen foresight however, had envisioned the age of social media and trolling, and declared ‘A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword’.
‘Fine feathers make fine birds.’ Yes, indeed, they do. Think of the peacock, the blue jay, the hummingbirds with their glittering plumage. Having no feathers to speak of, we changed it ever so slightly to ‘Clothes maketh the man‘. But what is true of birds may not be true of humans, chorus the nay-sayers. ‘Do not judge a book by its cover’, warns one. ‘Beauty is only skin-deep‘ asserts another. ‘All that glitters (or glisters, as the Bard put it) is not gold’, gloats a third.
The problem of plenty
While ‘Too many cooks are indeed likely to spoil the broth’, it is also true that ‘Many hands make light work’. The problem of plenty as in the former is unlikely to apply to the great majority of us plebeians, who can barely afford a part-time cook. The super-rich should probably take heed.
While conventional wisdom states that ‘Prevention is better than cure’; or that ‘A stitch in time saves nine’ a very pragmatic soul stated quite simply ‘Don’t mend what ain’t broken.’ A man (or woman) after my own heart!
‘Good things come to those who wait’, said a harassed mother to a child throwing a tantrum; trying to instil the virtues of delayed gratification. “But mother,” says the precocious child, ‘Time and tide wait for none‘. And in the corporate world of today, ‘Slow and steady wins the race’ is as believable as….. fables. The truth is simply ‘He who hesitates is lost’.
Opposites attract (or don’t they?)
Birds of a feather flock together. Yes, there be safety in numbers. Also because there is little choice in the crowded world of today. And when you live cheek-by-jowl you are bound to be rather contemptuous of your neighbour’s housekeeping and parenting skills, as exemplified in the wise ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’.
‘Opposites attract’ but also make ‘strange bedfellows’; or does ‘like attract like’? Depends on who you are really. Charged atoms will definitely follow rule one, but if you are a human being, psychology holds that you are likely to fall in love with someone who is alike. You are likely to be paired for life, like paired proverbs.
Even bedtimes are fraught with controversy. Since early childhood I was taught ‘Early to rise and early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Its only now I learn that ‘Early to rise and early to bed, makes a man socially dead’. It’s rather too late to reset my biological clock, but I’m happy to note I’m healthy and hope (some day) to be wise!
Is ‘well begun half done’ or ‘all’s well that ends well’? Well, I suppose it depends on where you messed up things. As I did, though thankfully, it is nearly the end. For there is a proverb which says pithily what took me two pages of hand-written verbosity! ‘Proverbs run in pairs.’ Paradoxical pairs, usually.