For the favoured few who have been untouched by Murphy’s law, I shall start by stating it. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong (and at the worst possible time). And never is the law enforced with greater certainty than when you have guests at home. Your car will have an inexplicable breakdown, the maid will have a mysterious ailment, your well-stocked fridge will turn into a closet…..and so on. To put it pithily, “when visitors cometh, the world revolteth.” I’ve been told that the explanation lies in the theory of resistentialism—the malice of inanimate objects towards the human race. And this oppositional behaviour is, like those of children, at its worst when you have important guests.
Be my guest
Take the time when my parents came to live with us, unable to manage on their own any longer. My father, then 82, was visually handicapped. My mother had been diagnosed with dementia. I spent the entire week before they arrived in rearranging the house. Preparing the spare bedroom. Emptying out closets to make place for their belongings; rearranging the furniture, putting away bric-a-brac. I emptied out drawers and decluttered bedside tables. I bought my dad a cane. Purchased new non-slip bathmats. In short, everything I could think of!
A week of woes
This is a chronicle of their first week at home.
Day 1. The water in the bath tap slowed down to a trickle. I cast an accusing look at my husband—he was supposed to have checked the plumbing. Out came the wrench and my husband’s handyman avatar; while I watched in trepidation. (The DIY avatar isn’t his most efficient one.) But all went well and running water was restored.
Day 2. The flush tank started leaking. I invoked the help of handyman avatar once again. Fortunately, it was a small problem. I breathed freely again.
Day 4. The kitchen drain was blocked and the kitchen was flooded. Never has this ever happened! My father was convinced we were in dire financial straits and living in pitiable conditions. Handyman husband threw up his hands—cleaning drains was definitely not in his charter of duties. We called in the professionals. Drainage and peace were restored.
Day 7. Next it was the turn of the geyser. It stayed frigid despite my fevered entreaties. I heated up water on the gas stove. But that wasn’t all. The malicious contagion engulfed all the power points in the guest room. Live wires became dud ones. Electrician number one came, peered into the fuse box and fussed around. After questioning me extensively about the electrical circuits in the house he remained in the dark and we in darkness. Fortunately, electrician number two proved to be our saviour. Tamso maa jyotirgamaya. From darkness to light.
A minor disruption in power supply
This was no isolated incident either. A couple of decades ago, we lived in what my civilian friends called a ‘VIP area’ in the capital. Generators roared in every part of the city, but there were no power cuts in ours. Except for the bitterly cold January evening when my parents-in-law arrived for a visit. Cold and tired after a 26-hour train journey, they looked forward to a warm welcome. But they (and we) had reckoned without Murphy’s Law. They stepped into a dark house feebly lit by a couple of lanterns, freezing water in the taps, and a candlelit dinner! Ah well, I consoled myself philosophically, as they peered into their dinner plates, it can only get better from here! That ‘minor disruption in power supply’ lasted a mere 14 hours!
A luckless lunch
The omnipresent, omnipotent Murphy’s Law has stalked me the length and breadth of the country. Welcome to Bangalore, where the weather is pleasant and cool yearlong. And so it was. Till the fateful day we invited some senior officers to lunch. The weather turned wickedly hot and sultry; the electricity wires, stretched to their limits, snapped!! Ice cubes changed to liquid water—necessary for life but ineffectual for cooling drinks. The soufflé sat unbaked while the dessert was a dripping disaster. The guests mopped their brows silently, gulping warm beer. The conversation wilted. By mutual consent, my husband and I did all our future entertaining at the local Officers’ Mess, where the evil machinations of Murphy’s Law had to operate in a much wider field!
Am I magnet for Murphy’s law?
These are just a sample. My complete reminiscences would fill an entire tome. Which has made me wonder if some of us tend to attract the attention of Murphy and his malevolent law rather more than others? Does ‘the fault lie not in our stars but in ourselves…….?
After years of painstaking research and having analysed every shred of evidence, I am now ready to share my insights with the world. A corollary to Murphy’s law. Which states ‘Anything which can go wrong, will go wrong’, especially when you want it to go right. It’s that simple! What isn’t expected to go right can’t go wrong. Right?